Dating apps: here’s what you’re doing wrong and why you need to change it immediately

David Andrew Wiebe
3 min readJul 12, 2019

“Dating is online man. That’s where everyone is going” said one of my well-meaning and helpful friends.

I’ve mostly had a love and hate (mostly hate) relationship with dating sites and apps, which I first started using in 2008.

In all that time spent sending messages and swiping right and left, I’ve never gotten a single date. That’s right — not even one.

I will say that I’ve never been consistent with dating apps but during the in between years I was convinced it wouldn’t work for me anyway, so I focused on meeting people in person instead.

Those who I met in real life ended up breaking my heart, which is neither here nor there except to highlight my overall frustration with dating in general. I ended up making some great friends, so that’s something, even if it wasn’t the desired outcome.

But after a recent heartbreak, as vulnerable as I was, I felt it important to start putting myself out there again. I had never fallen for anyone as hard I had fallen for her, but as it became clear it just wasn’t going to work, there was no choice but to keep soldiering on.

Having gone through a great deal of personal growth in the last couple of years (especially because of failed relationships), I thought this time online dating might be different.

I furnished a dating profile with my best (though not touched up) photos along with a bio that highlighted my many interests, talents and accomplishments.

And, after weeks of swiping left and right… I still haven’t gotten a single reply let alone any matches.

What’s more insidious is these damned dating apps prompting me to upgrade every 10 to 20 swipes. “Get more visibility”, they say.

Why would I upgrade? If you want me to put money into your product, you should do your damndest to get me a date in the first seven days of usage. And, it better be a good one, too, even if I don’t end up marrying her.

David Andrew Wiebe

Award-winning composer, best-selling author, podcaster, musician coach. See what I’m up to now: