I was recently having a conversation with a friend who shared about the many trials she’d walked through to get to where she’s at today.
It seems the challenges we experience are tailormade for us based on what we intend to achieve and how we need to grow.
The Universe isn’t blind to what we want. But oftentimes we aren’t ready for what we want. We must be willing to face the challenges in front of us. Only then do we grow and become the people we need to become to get to where we want to go.
“Diamonds are formed under pressure”, I shared with her. She said I should turn that into a blog post.
It so often happens that we’re not willing to change unless we’re faced with difficult decisions.
Wisdom says we should dig our well before we’re thirsty. We should save up for a rainy day.
But this is rarely how it plays out in practical reality. We lose our health. Creditors start assaulting our phones. Our friends abandon us. It took a while to get there and it didn’t happen in a vacuum, but only then are we ready for change.
It is unnecessary to wait for things to get this bad before we change. But sometimes it takes time to see the consequences of our actions. So long as there is a payoff (there always is), we’ll carry on our merry way behaving exactly as we did before. That is, of course, until we hit rock bottom.
This also sheds light on why relapses occur. After digging ourselves out of a hole, we assume we must be healed. Then, we revert to old behaviors because there is seemingly no consequence. You got yourself out of your hole the first time. Surely you can do it again. That type of thinking can be dangerous.
You can make whatever excuses you want. At the end of the day it’s your wellbeing that will be impacted.
Changing a behavior is challenging enough. But to me it’s not about behavior modification. It’s about changing the thoughts, attitudes and beliefs that dictated the behavior in the first place. Lasting change is impossible unless you’re willing to dig deep and get to the root of the issue. You’ll keep repeating the same behaviors unless you’re willing to look at your situation from a new perspective.
You can do the same things expecting different results. But at some point, you must cry “uncle”. Your way isn’t working, and it never will. You must find another way.
I look at the people around me who’ve accomplished amazing things and they all have incredible stories to share. They all had struggles to overcome.
Their stories are not tainted by their past. Instead, their past causes them to shine like diamonds today. They fought the battle and emerged on the other side victorious.
Easy success doesn’t make for a good story. You’d be hard pressed to find a novel, TV show or a movie in which the protagonist doesn’t encounter challenge.
I’m not saying that easy success doesn’t exist. But we don’t appreciate it as much. And, the Universe often seems to have other ideas. It would prefer that we face up to our challenges and fight our battles. Our character is built through that process, and that growth is far more valuable than whatever fame, fortune or fulfillment we achieve on the other side of it.
So, if it seems like tough situations present themselves every time you’re trying to make progress on something, maybe it’s because you’re on the right track. Maybe you’re moving closer to your purpose. And, maybe you need to embrace the bumps on the road because those experiences are what’s going to transform you into a diamond.