I feel intensely sad

Having spent a couple days away from work (mostly) and with people I care about, I woke up today feeling the best I have in a while.

I still felt like I needed more sleep, and felt a little sad, but aside from that, I sensed that I was well on my way to recovering from exhaustion.

Then I began to feel intensely sad as the day wore on (not depressed — just sad). So intensely sad, in fact, that I also started to feel restless — something I haven’t felt since 2017.

I assume this is all part of the process. My intuitive friend said I was “recalibrating” the other day. That seems to fit the bill.

But when I dug a little deeper into this sadness (not that I was under any obligation to), this is what came up for me:

Work

As I shared yesterday, I’ve basically spent the last nine years chasing growth and achievement. That has resulted in some cool things. I can’t deny that.

But now that I’m on the other end of it, it all strikes me as being very empty. And I can certainly acknowledge myself for what I’ve accomplished, but I’m not even close to having gotten what I set out to get!

And it’s altogether too easy to put some desires and pursuits in the “later” pile when you’re busy chasing other dreams.